Touch More Warmth

In the last chapter we brought the breath back. Now we turn to warmth, which is often the first thing a tired body reaches for.

When You're Hot One Minute and Cold the Next

"Warm water was the only time my body actually relaxed."

Honestly, it's strange how fast the temperature swings in these weeks. You wake up soaked in the middle of the night, and an hour later you're chilled and pulling the blanket up to your chin. That's the hormones. After birth, estrogen and progesterone drop and your body's thermostat gets thrown off, and your body is also letting go of the extra fluid it carried through pregnancy. Night sweats are common, they're strongest in the first weeks, and they usually ease over a few months. But if you also have a fever or pain, call your midwife or doctor.

On top of that, your baby is growing and feeding more, and you're giving more of yourself every day. A body that gives that much can feel cold and thin, and fragile in a way that's hard to name.

"I felt human again after a shower."

Warmth is one of the oldest signals of safety the body knows. Think of the bath that shifted your mood before you decided to let it, the cup held in both hands that brought you back, the shower that returned you to yourself. Warmth reaches the places that exhaustion and the constant giving have made hard to reach, and it doesn't ask you to explain anything.

What Every Culture Already Knew

Almost everywhere in the world, the new mother was kept warm. Zuo yuezi in China, cuarentena in Latin America, sanhujori in Korea: warm rooms, warm wraps, warm baths, warm broths and rich, nourishing food for the first weeks. A review of traditional postpartum practices across more than twenty countries found the same threads again and again: a set period of rest, specific foods, and other people looking after the mother.

It all points the same way. A new mother is meant to be warmed, fed and looked after. Touch More Nourishment goes into the food.

You are not alone in this. You are meant to be held.

These rituals are not routine. They are structure for the nervous system in seasons of intensity. Repletion, not depletion. Care that feeds your skin, your nervous system, and your bond, especially on the days when everything feels too loud, too heavy, too much.

In this season, they are acts of receiving. Care that returns warmth to a body that has been giving it away.

Let us begin.

The Rituals

Choose the one that belongs to today. Return to your favourite tomorrow.

The Warm Cup

3 to 5 minutes.

Have you had your tea today? Have you sat down, even for five minutes, with something warm in your hands?

Your baby can be right there with you, just not necessarily in your arms.

Make whatever you like: tea, hot chocolate, warm milk, a broth. Wrap both hands around the cup and feel the heat move through your palms and wrists. Breathe in the steam, take a slow sip, and notice the warmth travel down into your chest. If your baby is near, settle them in their bouncy chair or on a safe surface beside you, and sit for the whole cup if you can.

This one is meant to repeat. Come back to it tomorrow and the day after, because the point is to keep returning.

Your body knows to reach for the warm cup before you do.

The Touch More Guide holds twenty themes for the nervous system seasons of early motherhood. Free, and yours to keep.

Get the Touch More Guide →

Warmth at the Heart

5 to 7 minutes. First 40 Days Ritual.

On days when the baby can't be put down and a full bath feels out of reach, let this be enough.

Take off your top, because skin-to-skin contact belongs in the ordinary middle of an ordinary day too. Lower your baby gently into a small basin of comfortably warm water, test it first, and move the Konjac Sponge slowly across their skin. Watch their limbs soften and their breath deepen.

When your baby is wrapped and settled, tend to yourself. Stir a small sachet of the Calendula and Chamomile Soak into a bowl of comfortably warm water, soak a soft cloth in it, and press the warmth across your chest, the back of your neck, under your arms and over your lower belly. If you can, rest your feet in a second basin of warm water at the same time.

Then smooth a little First Touch Butter onto your chest and hands, placing it directly on your skin, where it melts on contact. Stay with the feeling of your own edges for a moment. Here you are, still yourself.

An hour was never required. This was enough.

A little warmth, given on purpose, goes a long way.

The First 40 Days Ritual holds everything for this window: the Calendula and Chamomile Botanical Soak, First Touch Butter, Tender Skin Serum, a Konjac Sponge, and Butter in Pink. Everything gathered, nothing to source or decide. This is where the Architecture of Grace™ begins.

The First 40 Days Ritual →

Shared Warmth

20 to 30 minutes. Honeysuckle and Oat Soak.

This one is for when your baby's umbilical cord has healed and you're healed enough yourself. After a cesarean, wait until your incision has healed and your doctor has said a bath is okay.

Draw a comfortably warm bath, test the temperature, and stir in the Honeysuckle and Oat Soak. Have your partner or someone you trust within arm's reach to hand your baby over, and never leave your baby alone in the water. Lower yourself in first, then receive your baby into the water with you. Let the warmth settle around you both.

Move the Konjac Sponge slowly across your baby's skin and across your own face. Unhurried. Notice what happens when there is nothing to do but be here.

When you're ready, lift your baby out first and wrap them in a warm towel right away, then lay them on a safe, warm surface while you dry yourself. Place First Touch Butter directly onto your baby's skin and begin at the shoulders, with long, slow strokes down the back, the legs, all the way to the feet. Hum, sing, speak softly, or just be present. When your baby is settled, tend to your own body and keep talking, humming or singing, so your voice holds the connection while your hands look after you.

This is what it feels like when care moves in both directions.

The warmth you give circles back.

The Honeysuckle and Oat Soak is made without essential oils, which makes it gentle enough for you and your baby to share from one month on. Soft water, soft skin, and a bath you both return to.

Honeysuckle and Oat Soak →

Motherhood is long and this season has many layers. The Inner Circle is where I write to you each week as this season unfolds. Each letter brings research and reflection, a short practice you can use in real life, and one practical idea for the week ahead. Free to join.

Join the Inner Circle →

A Touch More About Warmth

"I didn't realize how much better I felt after a hot bath until I was in it."

Heat on the skin widens the blood vessels, and many people feel their muscles ease and their body settle within minutes. Warmth at the end of the day can help with sleep too. A review of 17 studies found that a warm bath or shower one to two hours before bed helped people fall asleep faster. Researchers have also linked warm feet with falling asleep more quickly, which is why a foot basin earns its place in these rituals.

Warmth has a second effect that has nothing to do with temperature. A warm cup in cold hands, or a warm bath, can feel like being held, even when you're alone in the room. That's why every culture that could heat water used it, and why the mother was kept warm for the first weeks after birth.

Bathing together carries its own gift. Slow, warm contact, a voice humming, a sponge moving gently across skin: these are small, repeatable ways for you and your baby to settle into each other. Repeat them at about the same time each day, and the rhythm becomes a comfort in itself.

The First Year of Motherhood™ keeps a moment for you

The terrain of early motherhood shifts with every month. The First Year of Motherhood moves with you through each of those shifts, one month at a time, so the right botanical support, the right ritual, the right care arrives before you know you need it.

Join the Early Access Waitlist →

Final Words

In early motherhood, nearly all of your attention goes outward, to your baby, the feeds and whatever comes next, and it's easy to forget that you have needs too.

When that goes on long enough, resentment tends to creep in, and it gets very easy to slide into doing everything and putting yourself last. That's why these rituals are small, and why they include you. A few minutes of warmth that look after you, with your baby right there beside you, are a practice, and they keep you from losing yourself in everything you do for everyone else.

Come back to the warm cup tomorrow. That is enough.

For now, begin with warmth.

Henrieta Former nurse · Certified clinical aromatherapist · Somatic experiencing practitioner

Continue the Touch More Journey

Next chapter: Touch More Rest →

Sleep will return, and rest doesn't have to wait for it. There's a difference between the two, and the next chapter gives you ways to rest inside the fragments of time you already have.

Frequently Asked Questions

When can I take a bath after giving birth?

After a vaginal birth, many providers say full baths are fine once the heaviest bleeding has eased and any stitches have begun to heal, often around two to three weeks. Until then, a sitz bath, a sponge wash or a warm foot basin brings the same warmth. Your midwife or doctor knows your timeline best.

Can I take a bath after a C-section?

Not until your incision has healed, with no bleeding or signs of infection, and your doctor has said it's okay. That's often at least two weeks and sometimes four to six. Until then, a warm cup, a warm foot basin and a sponge wash bring warmth without soaking the incision.

Can I bathe with my newborn in the same water?

Once your baby's umbilical cord stump has fallen off and healed, usually within one to three weeks, tub baths are fine. Keep the water comfortably warm, test it first, have someone within reach, and never leave your baby alone in water. Lift your baby out first and wrap them right away.

Why am I so hot at night and then cold?

Estrogen and progesterone drop after birth, which disturbs your body's thermostat, and your body is also letting go of extra fluid from pregnancy. Night sweats are common, strongest in the early weeks, and usually ease over a few months. But if you also have a fever or pain, call your midwife or doctor.

What is the 40-day postpartum tradition?

Cultures around the world keep the new mother warm and fed for roughly the first forty days. Zuo yuezi in China, cuarentena in Latin America and sanhujori in Korea share warm rooms, warm food, rest and other people looking after her. The First 40 Days Ritual follows the same idea.

Is a warm drink okay while breastfeeding?

Yes. A warm tea, hot chocolate or broth is a lovely way to sit down for a few minutes, and drinking enough fluid matters while you're breastfeeding. Choose what you enjoy, and check with your doctor about specific herbs or caffeine if you're unsure.

Which soak can I share with my baby?

Plain warm water is best for the first month. From one month, the Honeysuckle and Oat Soak is made without essential oils, so it's gentle enough for you and your baby to share. The Calendula and Chamomile Soak joins in for your baby from two months.

What is included in the First 40 Days Ritual?

The First 40 Days Ritual holds the Calendula and Chamomile Botanical Soak, Butter in Pink, First Touch Butter for your baby, Tender Skin Serum for your face, and a Konjac Sponge gentle enough for both of you. Everything is gathered in one place, so there is nothing to source or decide.

Research This Chapter Draws On

• Haghayegh, S., Khoshnevis, S., Smolensky, M. H., Diller, K. R., and Castriotta, R. J. (2019). Before-bedtime passive body heating by warm shower or bath to improve sleep: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Sleep Medicine Reviews, 46, 124-135. Found that warm water at about 40 to 42.5 C, one to two hours before bed, shortened the time to fall asleep and improved self-rated sleep quality.
• Dennis, C.-L., Fung, K., Grigoriadis, S., Robinson, G. E., Romans, S., and Ross, L. (2007). Traditional postpartum practices and rituals: A qualitative systematic review. Women's Health, 3(4), 487-502. Reviews 51 studies from more than twenty countries and describes shared themes of rest, specific foods, and support for the new mother.
• Kräuchi, K., Cajochen, C., Werth, E., and Wirz-Justice, A. (1999). Warm feet promote the rapid onset of sleep. Nature, 401, 36-37. Links warmer hands and feet with faster sleep onset.